I know I haven’t blogged in AGEEEEES but third year pharmacy degree means luxuries like blogging are put on hold until Christmas break lol
This blog was birthed following conversations with Marbie & Ruth…Love you girls *mwah*
OK, so in a day and age when we like to label things and give “definition” to everything (even when it mostly means we lie to ourselves) I found it intriguing when faced with the question “what is dating?”. After having to answer this question twice in a matter of days, I decided to blog my answer as I thought it was quite good, if I can say so myself 🙂
So what is Dating?
I think dating begins when you start having feelings for a person and is not always mutual, and here’s why:
When you like someone or start to have feelings for them, you begin to treat them differently whether you like it not, whether you wish to admit it or not. You go the extra mile with them, give them more leeway and room than you would most people, give them more time and tolerance than most people, and certainly they occupy more of you mental capacity than most people. You begin to ask them leading questions and make indirect statements to judge or try to find out if they are feeling you too…yeah, you know how this goes. Everything you do to or for this person is based on this emotion called like. When they do something regular, you read deeper in to it and think “oh, he called me today in the morning, he must like me too” or “he’s not replying my texts as quickly as he normally does, what’s wrong?”…there is a certain level of intrigue and exclusivity you give AND expect from the person because there are emotions involved…
Why I said it doesn’t have to be mutual is because at this stage there has been no mutual confession of emotions yet all these processes are occurring in one’s head and heart…one person can be involved in this process regardless of the other persons stand point – hence situations where one party is like “you hurt me” and the other “I didn’t even know you liked me!”
And a Relationship?
To me, a relationship starts after the open and direct exchange of feelings for each other being “i like you”, “I like you too”. From this point, whether you like it or not, you ARE in a relationship with the person. Everything you do (or don’t do) from this point will be based on the validation of the statement “I like you”. If you go out with another girl or guy or behave in certain manner, the question will be “I thought he said he liked me?”. If he does something undesirable, your friends will probably say something along the lines of “and this is the person who says they like you yeah!?” or “and this is the type of person you want to be in a relationship with?”. The levels of exclusivity that will be demanded will be increased. Time, expectations, and emotions demanded will increase, and needless to say, you will be “watched” more.
Courting for me comes into play AFTER the relational stage when you both decide “OK, you’ve passed all the stages, let’s make this official”. It isn’t for the faint hearted, and it should not be entered into lightly. I believe a certain level of maturity should come into play at this stage, and a lot of the problems we have are because people jump stages or do not realise the responsibility in each stage. I believe all stages need to be followed systematically and don’t get it twisted, hurt can come at any and all stages.
Whereas you may not agree with the titles I’ve given, I do believe most people will agree with the rest of the content of this blog lol.
What’s my point? If you’re not ready to go there, don’t go there!
If you aren’t ready for a “relationship or courtship” why are you telling that person you like them? why are you demanding their time, emotions, and heart if you do not intend on bearing the responsibility that goes along with it?
If you know someone likes you and you aren’t interested in the person, don’t encourage or feed their “like” or you are responsible for their “heartache” if there is some.
Don’t just enter into a relational situation just to “see how it goes” that’s like trying to sky dive without training just to “see how it goes” and saying “i mean, how hard is it to pull a string attached to a backpack?” <–folly!
Take responsibility for your actions, or lack of them…don’t mess with your heart or anyone else’s and be sure you are ready for what’s ahead…
Keep thy heart more than anything that is guarded; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23
Hope all ya’ll have a Merry Christmas 🙂